Sometimes it's hard to know, but our little questionnaire should settle the matter for you. Answer "yes" or "no" to the following 21 statements. Keep track of your responses, and look below to see how you rate as a cynic. Note: This quiz is decidedly unscientific, but you get the picture.
1. You're overworked, unemployed, underemployed or underpaid.
2. You're a lonely thinker stuck among semi-literates and/or MBAs.
3. You've finally discovered that society doesn't reward people like you.
4. You've discovered that the people who do reap the rewards tend to be jerks.
5. You'd like to see the majority of our celebrities exiled to Uzbekistan or at least Alaska.
6. You cringe slightly whenever you hear people rave about "team players."
7. Political correctness fanatics make you laugh (or cry).
8. You're sick of hearing that everything you eat, think or do causes heart disease.
9. You suspect that cheeseburgers eventually will be found to promote cardiovascular health.
10. You've had it with rich people and their special entitlements. You've also had it with poor people and their special entitlements.
11. You wonder what those hedge fund managers do to earn their billion-dollar incomes; in fact, you wonder what exactly a hedge fund IS and why only rich people can invest in one.
12. You suspect that U.S. foreign policy is more about oil and capitalism than it is about defending democracy.
13. You suspect that the U.S. government is controlled by lobbyists who bribe our elected representatives to favor their agendas.
14. You. Don't. Fit. In.
15. As far as you're concerned, "personal growth" is some kind of tumor.
16. You're disillusioned, disenchanted and/or just plain disgusted.
17. You find yourself wishing you lived in a different era, like the Neolithic.
18. You think civilization is going to hell in a pooper-scooper.
19. You no longer CARE that civilization is going to hell in a pooper-scooper.
20. Your friends, family, mate and/or dog have been telling you that you're cynical.
21. You wish you could find some decent curmudgeons who feel the way you do.
Now add up the number of "yes" replies.
5 or under. NOT a cynic. Not even close. You might consider working for the Peace Corps, and that's fine... nothing to be ashamed of.
6-10. Slightly cynical... but no more than your average Joe or Jennifer. Still, you'd probably enjoy exploring this site.
11-15. Considerably cynical. You've found a home here.
16-20. Major cynic. You not only belong here, you could be running the place.
21. Perfectly, totally cynical. May the gods be merciful.