Sometimes it's hard to know, but our little questionnaire should settle the matter for you. Answer "yes" or "no" to the following 21 statements. Keep track of your responses, and look below to see how you rate as a cynic. Note: This quiz is decidedly unscientific, but you get the picture.
1. You're overworked, unemployed, underemployed or underpaid.
2. You're a lonely thinker stuck among semi-literates and/or MBAs.
3. You've finally discovered that society doesn't reward people like you.
4. You've discovered that the people who do reap the rewards tend to be jerks.
5. You'd like to see the majority of our celebrities exiled to Uzbekistan or at least Alaska.
6. You cringe slightly whenever you hear people rave about "team players."
7. Political correctness fanatics make you laugh (or cry).
8. You're sick of hearing that everything you eat, think or do causes heart disease.
9. You suspect that cheeseburgers eventually will be found to promote cardiovascular health.
10. You've had it with rich people and their special entitlements. You've also had it with poor people and their special entitlements.
11. You wonder what those hedge fund managers do to earn their billion-dollar incomes; in fact, you wonder what exactly a hedge fund IS and why only rich people can invest in one.
12. You suspect that U.S. foreign policy is more about oil and capitalism than it is about defending democracy.
13. You suspect that the U.S. government is controlled by lobbyists who bribe our elected representatives to favor their agendas.
14. You. Don't. Fit. In.
15. As far as you're concerned, "personal growth" is some kind of tumor.
16. You're disillusioned, disenchanted and/or just plain disgusted.
17. You find yourself wishing you lived in a different era, like the Neolithic.
18. You think civilization is going to hell in a pooper-scooper.
19. You no longer CARE that civilization is going to hell in a pooper-scooper.
20. Your friends, family, mate and/or dog have been telling you that you're cynical.
21. You wish you could find some decent curmudgeons who feel the way you do.
Now add up the number of "yes" replies.
5 or under. NOT a cynic. Not even close. You might consider working for the Peace Corps, and that's fine... nothing to be ashamed of.
6-10. Slightly cynical... but no more than your average Joe or Jennifer. Still, you'd probably enjoy exploring this site.
11-15. Considerably cynical. You've found a home here.
16-20. Major cynic. You not only belong here, you could be running the place.
21. Perfectly, totally cynical. May the gods be merciful.
Maybe you have never really understand my existence.
Posted by: Adidas Porsche Design S2 | February 18, 2013 at 08:45 PM
*SIGH* Proud to be a total cynic...NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!
Posted by: Scarlett | March 05, 2013 at 05:36 PM
@Adidas: Why do you CARE why other people don't understand your existence? YOU'RE HERE! Why does there NEED to be a f-ing reason? Seriously. Go on vacation WITH YOURSELF and have a good time for a change! I do. :-P
Posted by: Scarlett | March 05, 2013 at 05:38 PM
You just replied to a spam bot. AND you didn't correct his grammar. This means you're not a cynic, and I suspect this place is not actually for cynics, but for people who want to feel the warmth of being among others who "don't fit in".
And you know what a real cynic like me does now? Leave, and never come back to this place again.
Posted by: Proper | July 04, 2013 at 07:09 PM
If I mow my lawn diagonally just to be ironic, does that make me a cynic?
Posted by: Sean | July 23, 2013 at 12:38 PM
This is total BS. The questions went worded properly and I definitely don't trust this "quiz". I'm outta here...
Posted by: Lee | August 14, 2013 at 10:56 AM
So you have to be american to be a cynic ?
Posted by: Manon | September 14, 2013 at 01:58 PM
There are other countries to refer to besides the states, bloody Yanks they're all the same, me, myself and I! Good job I am not a cynic I could take all this tongue in cheek stuff seriously. Hooray for positive cynism!
Posted by: Wendy | October 22, 2013 at 02:29 PM
Oh my god, Always tought i had a big problem. Always felt like I'm smarter than a lot around me, never fit in. I am, and I'm aware that be a little proud of that is not humble. Hahahahaha, oh my god is like poison.
Posted by: Pedro | March 04, 2014 at 12:03 AM
I enjoy winding up others on sunday mornings, I now have started the habit of keeping a chocolate bar in a dog poop bag in
My pocket whilst on Sunday preamble with mans best friend. I like to see folks reactions as I stuff lumps of half melted Mars bar into my mouth from
Said poop bag
Posted by: Barry Hunter | February 27, 2016 at 06:19 PM
You had me laughing at number five but then I realized this test was just a ploy to get me to feel good about the world. But I won't be fooled. Nice try.
Posted by: Andrew Imken | April 14, 2016 at 10:08 PM
I´m a cynic, I run trails and I drink really good Belgian beer (or anything else alcoholic)
Posted by: Matthew Rix Whiting | May 15, 2016 at 02:39 PM
We are bio-machines made by some entity. It's an experiment on a controlled environment (this planet).
We may be collecting resources for some advanced civilization without us knowing (only a few,those who want more and more may know the truth and they get special treat and technology advances), otherwise i don't picture why food isnt enough for everyone on this world.
Both are different theories, but can be mixed somehow.
Posted by: >.< | July 01, 2016 at 11:26 AM
Perfect score. For extra credit I disagreed with all of the comments.
Posted by: Alexander | August 23, 2016 at 10:47 PM
Hi... I'm a cynic. I think all of you are out of touch and full of it. I'm already annoyed at what a response to my comment would be.
Posted by: Elizabeth | September 03, 2016 at 04:24 AM
17, *shrugs*
Posted by: Laura | September 23, 2016 at 10:01 AM
Oops, the site is alive and well.
We are a pack, let's keep it howling ...
nadia
Posted by: Nadia Toplosky | November 12, 2016 at 11:30 AM
I think that facebook, snapchat and the like have been created by the Government in order to keep the masses too busy facechatting to bother talking about things. Round the lunch table at work everyone is busy stuffing their face with one hand and scrolling up their attention controlling device with the other. Does this thought make me a cynic or just paranoid.
Posted by: Damian | December 13, 2016 at 06:38 AM