The Cynic's Sanctuary

Add my classic "Tirades" to your personal library and enjoy them anywhere!

Now you can enjoy my best tirades in book form -- a treasure trove of cynical wit and wisdom for the ages (or at least the early 21st century). Sure, I had to self-publish them as e-books -- what else would you expect in today's take-no-risks publishing climate? But they're here... they're good... and they're ready for you to download.

I've organized them into three volumes: Extremely Dark Chocolates includes my most morbidly amusing pieces... Lifestyles of the Doomed collects my curmudgeonly cultural and political commentary from the turn of the millennium... and The World Is My Obstacle Course is filled with my personal confessions about grappling with an uncooperative universe. (I'm sure you can relate.) Each e-book contains between 40 and 50 classic tirades.

Order the individual titles for just $2.99 each -- less than a cappuccino at Starbucks. Or collect the whole set for under $9. That's a pretty powerful bargain for provocative, insightful, eloquently funny books that you'll want to read and re-read for years to come. 

If you use Kindle, just copy and paste the Amazon link below. For any other format, go to Smashwords.com and search under Rick Bayan. The Cynic thanks you!

https://www.amazon.com/Bayans-Tirades-3-Book-Series/dp/B07HM6D7BD/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1539131197&sr=8-7&keywords=rick+bayan

Cynical Quote of the Week

"A cat’s self-regard seems to be natural and unshakable despite his total ignorance of Western civilization." -- Rick Bayan, Extremely Dark Chocolates: Bitterly Amusing Thoughts on Aging, Insanity, Death, Extinction & Other Inconveniences

Cynical Quote of the Week

"We're all sacks of flesh, and we're all going to die!" -- Rick Bayan, from "Flesh and Mortality," Extremely Dark Chocolates

Cynical Quote of the Week

"No matter what we're doing at the moment, the majority of us would rather be doing something else." -- Rick Bayan

Cynical Quote of the Week

"If you're working hard enough to make a fortune these days, chances are that the concept of leisure will be as alien to you as a lava lamp was to John Quincy Adams." -- Rick Bayan, Extremely Dark Chocolates

 

Cynical Quote of the Week

"To be intellectually gifted is to be as disadvantaged as a moron, with one minor difference: morons are happier." -- Rick Bayan, Extremely Dark Chocolates

Cynical Quote of the Week

"If all goes according to plans, the Boomers will become the first generation in history to advance directly from adolescence to senility without the usual interval of maturity." -- Rick Bayan, Extremely Dark Chocolates

Cynical Quote of the Week

"No matter what we’re doing at the moment, the majority of us would rather be doing something else." -- Rick Bayan

Cynical Quote of the Week

“May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early!”
― Aleister Crowley

Cynical Quote of the Week

All generalizations are false, including this one. -- Mark Twain

Cynical Quote of the Week

Fools rush in where fools have been before. -- Anonymous

Cynical Quote of the Week

If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia. -- Thomas Szasz

Cynical Quote of the Week

It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense. -- Mark Twain

Cynical Quote of the Week

History may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme a lot. - Mark Twain

In a cruel and evil world, being cynical can allow you to get some entertainment out of it. -- Daniel Waters

Cynical Quote of the Week

If we don't change direction soon, we'll end up where we're going. -- Professor Irwin Corey

Cynical Quote of the Week

A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation. -- Howard Scott

Cynical Quote of the Week

Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them. - Ed Howe

Cynical Quote of the Week

Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house. -- Fran Lebowitz

Cynical Quote of the Week

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. - W. C. Fields

Cynical Quote of the Week

Life is just one damned thing after another. -- Elbert Hubbard

Cynical Quote of the Week

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

-- P. J. O'Rourke

Cynical Quote of the Week

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank. -- Woody Allen

Cynical Quote of the Week

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank. -- Woody Allen

Cynical Quote of the Week

Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary. -- Robert Louis Stevenson

Cynical Quote of the Week

Never say anything remarkable. It is sure to be wrong. -- Mark Rutherford

 

Cynical Quote of the Week

Pay no attention to whatever advice you receive. -- Edward Gorey

Cynical Quote of the Week

Year, n. A period of 365 disappointments. -- Ambrose Bierce

Cynical Quote of the Week

There is no humor in heaven. -- Mark Twain

Cynical Quote of the Week

To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence. -- Mark Twain

Cynical Quote of the Week

Labor, n. One of the processes by which A acquires property for B. -- Ambrose Bierce